I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
