.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
