Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
