Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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