He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
