did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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