i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
