I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
