If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
