All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
