a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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