Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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