I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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