I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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