What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
