White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
