shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
