So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
