Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
