just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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