the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
