My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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