So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
