First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
