where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
