just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
