i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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