So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
