The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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