Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
