Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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