just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
