We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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