we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
