Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
