Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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