So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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