chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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