So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
