Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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