So drunk, too bad you don't want this
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
