Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
