Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
