Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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