so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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