My hand turned me down
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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