i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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