he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
