Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
