walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
