So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
