My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
